….sssoooo….this past weekend entailed a bit of an……adventure…..
Namely, I was kayaking at sea and let me put it like this; kayaking at sea is very much OUTSIDE my comfort level.
….for a few reasons….
– There are waves. The sea is FULL of unpredictable waves. Why go kayaking on these waves when you can sit home and, I don’t know, eat and binge watch Teen Mom 2?!
…like who would not watch Jenelle choose a concert over “not going to jail” instead of kayaking? Probably 95% of the worlds population if you ask me.
– The sea has CREATURES like…you know…jellyfish. They make me uncomfortable. One time I ran away from a jellyfish which resulted in me cutting my fot. Still do not regret the decision of “running away from a jellyfish”. I have a big scar under my foot and every time I look at it I don’t think “that’s a bad scar” – no – I definitely think “GOOOD CHOICE Tina, GOOD CHOICE RUNNING AWAY FROM THAT JELLYFISH!!!!”
– I have a bad history with boats similar to a Kayak. Basically I was in “Chinas Hawaii” and me, my boyfriend and another guy tried to transport us and two coconuts on a little boat. My boyfriend told me to sit still otherwise the boat would sink. I didn’t sit still. The boat sank.
…and then my boyfriend told me to try to be still again. I didn’t and the boat sank again.
Anyways. I thought I guide you through this little adventure. Hour by hour. Minute by minute.
09:51: On the train taking me to a place somewhere in the south of Sweden where they supposedly have sea and kayaks.
11:00: Arrived to a city where they have sea – but no kayaks. Basically waiting for a bus. I’m about 90% anxiety.
11:05: Try to still my anxiety by eating a snack. Doesn’t work.
11:06: Asks my friend Jenny to take a picture with me and my snack since eating will apparently not lower my anxiety. Maybe if I see that I look cute my anxiety might go down to like 80%???!!!
11:07: I see the picture of me and my snack. I look like I want to pose for my snack while at the same time cry. My anxiety rises to 95%.
11:30: TIME TO GO ON A BUS!!! Looking out on the beautiful scenery (not pictured in the blog, sorry) that I forgot I am going kayaking at sea.
12:30: Arrive. I see the Kayaks. My stomach turns. Tries to stay positive, not cry, etc.
13:10: OMG I am IN a kayak. I repeat I am in a kayak.
13:11: Still in the kayak. No waves. Life is awesome! I am soooo happy there is no waves!
13:15: Getting out of the dock. Realize that there ARE waves… like… LOTS…of them. Also realizing that the only reason to why there were no waves before was because I was in the dock. Not in the actual open sea.
15:10: Time for a snack. Thank you lord. Posed for a picture.
16:00: Time to get out on the sea again. All we have to do is to kind of get in the boat while balancing on stones that are super slippery (pictured above). Piece of cake if you are like a flexible person. Thinking to myself that I am known for being “smidig som ett kylskåp” which can pretty much be translated to “flexible as a fridge”, that is, not flexible at all.
16:05: Getting into the boat! Somehow survived getting onto the boat. Lets just hope there is no wave hitting our little kayak before we get out on the open sea.
16:06: ….a wave is coming… I REPEAT…a wave is coming
16:07: The wave (which was coming at 16:06) hits the boat so it almost rolls over to the other side. The boat gets filled with water.
16:08: Somehow we get away from the stones and the shoreline without another wave hitting the boat. I am alive! Just a little bit of water in the boat BUT I am alive. Feel an instant gratefulness inside (together with 95% anxiety).
16:10: The kayak is still floating! Yay!
16:11: My kayaking partner asks me to take out the plugs in the kayak so we can get water off the boat. All I can think about is that boats should not have holes in them. Boats are NOT supposed to have holes in them. Especially when at sea. Just look at the Titantic; it had a hole and that did NOT and well. Just saying.
16:12: At this time I apparently had a death wish as a I DID take out a plug. Basically making the kayak have a hole in it.
16:15: Realizing I’m alive even though our boat got hit by a wave at the shoreline…and that the boat somehow gets rid of water by having holes in them??!!! Takes a mental note to google that when home.
16:20-18:00: Still kayaking. Down to like 15% anxiety. Basically I stopped caring about the waves and the jellyfish after the whole drama which went down between 16:07-16:08. Even posed for pictures.
18:01: ON DRY LAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (have no picture here but basically what I did was smile and eat).
…sssoooo…I think we are done here. I hope you enjoyed this little post.
Go try new things like kayaking on the sea. Or don’t and watch Teen Mom 2…idk*.
Girl Who Write Things (and also goes kayaking at sea)
*I dont know